Time, Fickle Time…

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Beautiful hues of blue a hundred miles offshore…

Hi Everyone!

As many of you know, since the beginning of 2015, I have been seeking my care at City of Hope up in Duarte. I couldn’t be happier, and their aggressive trial treatment has proven quite successful for me. Woo-hoo! If you look back a couple of entries, you can see the difference in my chest scans. Without being a radiologist, just looking at the areas of black (good) on the second scan compared to the first, the benefit is obvious. Yay, me!!! And many thanks to City of Hope! When I go to the facility, I always feel enveloped in skill, knowledge, caring, and yes, hope. It’s a great place.

I am also about a month in to a pulmonary rehab course at Mission Hospital. Due to their willingness to lend a hand, they’ve given me an affordable option so I can participate and take this upswing as high as I can take it. The nurses there are working with me, oh, so patiently, to increase my pulmonary capacity and efficiency so I can do more with less. They are special, special people.

What a life, right? Everything’s going the way one would want it to, so what the heck is my problem? I’m finding myself frustrated, in pain, sad, and confused. I mixed up my priorities, and now they’re difficult to streamline again. And streamline in the right direction. My doctor helped me a little yesterday, and I think I’m beginning to work through my “Ah hah” moment.

During my second admission at UCLA, I was so sick, there was never a plan for discharge, and a discharge plan is something they begin pretty much as soon as you’re admitted. One night, my family was called because the doctor wasn’t sure I was going to make it until the morning. I was a pretty sick puppy. My stubbornness won out, and I fooled them all. I had one more admission to Santa Monica for a couple of weeks, and then moved on to an oncologist down in my area. That didn’t go so well, and I got kinda sick again. With his unresponsiveness and arrogance, perhaps a gift as I look back on it, I was able to move on to City of Hope.

It’s an amazing place your brain can take you to. I have always been pretty upfront and matter of fact about stuff in my life, and this was some pretty big stuff. Being told I have Stage 4 adenocarcinoma of the lung with mets to various bones was pretty dang sobering. Upfront, it means I’m gonna die. This will kill me, unless the bus flies out of the sky and hits me first. And with my condition prior to City of Hope, it seemed I would die sooner than later. Being that matter of fact person, I have spent the last six months preparing to die. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not walking around dressed in black with my arm around that guy with the black hood and the real sharp scythe-thingie. But I’ve been making plans for bills, final affairs, not buying things that someone’s just gonna have to get rid of, stuff like that. I need to get Willow ready to sell, and then just sit around and wait for it, right?

WRONG!!! I’ve been given a huge, incredible, wonderful, life extending gift, and it’s thrown me for a loop! Can you believe it? Now, living confuses me! What a dork! There I was, “ready” to die whenever, and it looks like that’s not gonna be anytime soon. And that’s a good thing! But I need to swing my brain back around to not expecting death just around the corner. I need to get back into my living mode, having fun mode, traveling mode, laughing mode, and experiencing life mode. I need to meet more new people, people who don’t perhaps speak Ingles, need to swim in the ocean again (once I get rid of these dang tubes), sail Willow again, drive cross-country, paddle again, have adventures again. And why the heck not??? I’m done sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can hack and move past the chest discomfort, so I CAN work on doing the things on my bucket list. So stand by. I’m back!!!!!

Thank you, Dr. Reckamp!

Much love and best fishes!!!

23 thoughts on “Time, Fickle Time…

  1. Laura Rodriguez

    That’s my WARRIOR. Stay strong – I always knew you could do this. I am honored to be a part of your life.
    Laura

    Reply
  2. Frances Torres

    Wendy, I’m not sure you realize what a good writer you are. I really think these posts should be put together and made into a book. A lot of people could be blessed by your insights. Much love, Francine

    Sent from one cool mom

    >

    Reply
  3. Roy rod

    That’s the best news ever windy keep on pushing! After all you are the strongest woman I know keep doing what you do God bless and thank you for the updates!

    Reply
  4. Bill Bischoff

    Wendy, I can hardly wait for each of your posts because they just keep getting better and better! I am sitting here in sunny La Paz waiting for Bay-fest to start. I see you everywhere that I turn; a beautiful sunrise and sunset, the dolphins playing at my bow, good friends sharing sundowners. I’m so happy for you!!!!

    Cheers, Bill
    S/V Odyssey

    Reply
  5. RAY BELL

    Wendy, great news that you are going to be with us awhile longer. Next time you visit Willow
    call me and we can do breakfast or lunch at RJ’s

    Reply
  6. Joanne Cameon

    That’s what I’m saying. An inspiration to us all Wendy. The world is waiting for you and welcomes you back. “And then comes the Spring, it’s ALIVE”

    Reply
  7. Bill Bischoff

    Wendy, so great to hear that. What a fighter you are. The world is once again your oyster. I can’t wait to hear about these new plans for the future. I’m sitting in sunny La Paz waiting for Bay-Fest to begin. I’ll be thinking of you when we race tomorrow. Mexico awaits your return :).

    Cheers, Bill
    S/V Odyssey

    Reply
  8. Dave Badgett

    Hi Wendy, it’s a crazy ride that you’ve been on. The deep lows and the great highs! We, your friends, are with you in spirit even if we don’t see you in person, and I/We couldn’t be happier that you’re getting ready to go shake up the world some more, including with the people you meet that don’t speak “Ingles”! 🙂
    Dave Badgett

    Reply
  9. Kathy

    You have a wonderful problem now, and a great gift of the written word, and sharing your story. Take the bliss day by day.

    Reply
  10. Eulalie and Eric, sv Elizabeth Jean

    Hi Wendy, I agree with your friend, Frances Torres. You are a great writer and storyteller. Think about publishing your essays.
    Eric, ELIZABETH JEAN, and I are in Panama City with a reservation to begin crossing the canal on April 20 to the Caribbean. Wish you could be one of our line handlers. There’s nobody stronger or more competent than you are..
    Cheers to you and all like you,
    Eulalie

    Reply
  11. Chuck/Kay Russell

    HI Wendy, so glad to hear you have turned a corner, since we live in Duarte, close to City of Hope, please feel free to give us a call, or drop by, or if you need an overnight stop feel free…
    Chuck and Kay.

    Reply
  12. Danny Apodaca

    Wendy you are an inspiration. Who’d a thunk your stubbornness would become such an asset! Enjoy every day, I’m ready to go for that sail now…

    Reply
  13. dannyapo

    Wendy you are truly an inspiration. Who’d a thunk your stubbornness would become such an asset? Happy to hear you’re ready to get back on the water. If you need a hand reeling in the big ones I’ll be happy to assist you! Much love, Danny Apodaca

    Reply
  14. Bobby RAYA

    Hang tough Wendy, you have what it takes to beat this. You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.

    Reply
  15. Bill Bischoff

    Hi Wendy, this comment is really late. I was just in Mexico, crewing back to La Paz from La Cruz, when I read this blog. For some reason I was not able to comment, so I will now. I was thinking of you as I crossed from Mazatlan to the Baja, watching miles of dolphins and rays as they played. The sunsets and good friends made me think of you being here a short time ago, and made me hopeful for your return someday. As we raced during Bay-Fest, I knew that you were on deck with us, trimming sails and dropping spinnakers.

    As you know, you do not have to face this fight alone. You’ve got so many people who love you and want to help. Count me as one of the many.

    Cheers, Bill
    S/V Odyssey

    Reply

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